‘High heels should be banned’, said my male colleague after entire days of listening to ‘clackety-clacks’ on the hard floor outside our bay. i couldnt agree more. Nothing is more annoying than those sharp sounds going to and fro with irritating regularity (we unfortunately happen to sit near the drinking-water trough, plus, it gives sound bytes about who’s going where when and how many times). However, to lend more weight to the cause, i propose the following list of things which should be banned. No matter is too small for my notice, and so you shall find variety in this list-

# Wearing hawaii-an shirts to work…it spreads the holiday mood. No one works then.
# Putting the room temperature regulator within reach of 3 or more people. No sooner does one reduce the temp, than another cranks it up. So it continues until the end of day. The winner (of only the battle) is the one who leaves last, for the war continues in full swing the next day. A totally unintended side effect is that the temperature varies from glacial cold to hellish simply by the icy looks and furious glances of the warriors.
# Admin assistants not replenishing the stationery supply cabinets. Often results in minor warfare over the last remaining pen or notepad.
# The cleaners coming at 5 sharp to clean the office area. They dust nonchalantly around you, while chewing gum and jabbering away on their cell phones, going into corners you dont tread for fear of lumbago and arthritis. You have to keep moving in front of them, lest they mistake you for part of the office furniture and dust over you. Wouldn’t blame them either, office furniture is so abstract and retro nowadays.
# Uncovered parking lots in front of offices. Such madness!! Would you like your employees come indoors in the winter, shaking like aspen leaves and looking white as though they had seen a ghost or were trying to impersonate one? Someday, they might just all freeze outside and you’d have abominable snowmen with cute white cars adorning your parking lot until next summer.
# Saturdays as off-work days. Don’t get me wrong, i dont want to abolish weekends. Just move the holiday to a monday. Who’s heard of saturday morning blues anyway!
# They say ‘don’t drink and drive’, and promptly ask for your driver’s licence as proof of age for serving drinks. Don’t serve drinks to anyone having a driver’s licence i say.
# The rules demanding total customer-care in hospitality industries. For e.g. your waiter hovering anxiously and solicitiously near your table in a restaurant, leaving you with ne’er a moment alone for yourself. After a point, you feel like asking, ‘Would you like to join us for the next course? what will you have?’
# Chatty co-shoppers. A middle-aged lady browsing in the same aisle told me in a loud whisper, ‘i don’t really like these low-rise jeans. They may be good for teenagers, but i dont want my paunch hanging out over the waist band’. i fled from the scene as soon as decently possible, before she could give me more details like what size dress she wore and which VS store she frequented and..well, you get the idea.
# Lastly, male colleagues stamping and thumping heavily across the very same floor. i mean, if you don’t want sharp stilettoes turning a smooth floor into a pockmarked beauty resembling the lunar surface, you dont want minor earthquakes either, do you?