Posts tagged ‘the funnies’

PJ of the week

Maaf PJ of the week, actually.

Q. How do the dutch say ‘Vodafone’?

A. They say ‘Fodafone’.

šŸ˜€

For those to whom this doesn’t make sense, look up dutch phonetics.

Shut up or else…?

Read this.

I am not able to stop laughing.

In which the snows melted away.. (OR The mystery of the missing couch)

..due to the warmer weather, and so did the couch. You must believe me.

Our couch outlived its usefulness, and we decided it had to part ways with us. Due to the snow and cold weather, we moved it to the patio as the first stop before its final destination of the garbage dump. In time we forgot about it, ‘coz you see, blinds aren’t opened much during winter anyway. One month passed and the couch remained in situ, surrounded by little piles of snow. One fine day, i came home from work to find the room filled with light. Thought bubble went – Hurrah. The days are growing longer again. The snow is melting away. Yayayay.. Enter right – roommate. With a puzzled look – Did you ask anyone to move the couch when we weren’t home? The penny drops – Oh the couch is missing? That’s why there’s so much light!!!

Read more…

‘Appy ‘Alloween

I just realised that all my friends here will be in India in December. Well, maybe not all, but the ones that I’m in frequent touch with anyway. And i feel like an ass for having already taken my vacation last month. Oh that i had some foresight.
Or maybe a time machine.

***

My roomie just stepped out for gymming. Within seconds there was a knock at the door. Thinking she had forgotten something i opened the door.
Nothing.
Halloween sprites you think? No, just the neighbour’s kid come trick-or-treating. Why didn’t i see her? I opened the door expecting a five-feet-something. Instead there was a three-feet-nothing in front of me. No wonder my gaze met emptiness.
It’s still giving me a fit of the giggles.

Laughing the blues away

Was on theĀ listening end of a funny phone conversation recently.Ā I called up my med-care insurance helpline to report that i was still without an ID card from them. Reproduced here is the original unabridged version (fyi, FunnyGal is her, not me. šŸ˜› )

FunnyGal : This is Carol from … How can i help you?

IrateGal : Hi, i have a small problem. i am an employee of … (Duh, i signed an NDA. You expect me to reveal the name??) i haven’t recived my ID card till date,Ā though i Ā updated my address in your records a month back, and sent follow-upĀ emails.

FunnyGal : Can you tell me your em-plllloy-eeeee id? (She sang out the last word in a lil tune.)

IrateGal : Yes, it is …

FunnyGal : Can you please confirm your primary address?

IrateGal : (Lil confused now) Er..you want my email address? (Oh man! Why do i have so many email IDs? Which one does she want??)

FunnyGal : Home address. Yes. Do you have a home? Uh hmm. (The last part was said with the quiet self-confidence of a person asking all the right questions)

LittleLessIrateGal : (Press ‘mute’, laugh hard, ‘unmute’) Yes, i do. (Do they think me a destitute living on the streets, but rich enough to invest inĀ a medical plan? Damn!) Read more…

Quite an amusing day, what?

Had a nice day today…with quite some funny things happening.
While executing a piece of code, the IDE gave up and presented me with “Parallel query server died unexpectedly”. Ouch. R.I.P. , dear server. I nearly died laughing over their message. Later on in the day, in some meeting, this guy says “there were 12 board members in front of me that day”. My wandering mind caught that and told him (mentally ofcourse, i am a nice girl. not rude. seriously) “and there are 28 bored members in front of you today, sir!” Then this DBA (reads as Database Admin when translated into English) came up and said “i cant log in to the database” . Whoops, what am i, a mere developer to do if the Admin is locked out – go pray to the server Gods maybe? I hope he did, i need that server access soon. As a result of this event (non-event? whichever. Don’t quibble!) i had most of the afternoon free. From afar i saw this gang of ladies approaching. On a closer look, it was still a gang of ladies approaching. They came and nicely settled at my desk and started yakking away, disturbing everyone around. Weapons of Mass Destruction huh?
Post lunch a colleague had come up, and hearing me discussing ‘Happy Feet’ with someone, said, “i love animations. I have a (whole) collection of all the animated movies, latest and old.” i asked to borrow ‘Robots’…i got a blank look and a “what’s that?” Poor guy, he got it all mixed up. I kept a straight face, i did. I tell you, i am a nice girl.
And lots of other interesting stuff also happened during the other meeting, most of which i have now forgotten.Ā  šŸ˜¦
I knew there had to be a reason people take notepads to meetings!

Remembered another incident: A colleague coded a service, to perform a specific action repeatedly. He named it ‘repeatSAM’. IĀ think he should have called it ‘playItAgainSam’.