Wodehouse on the brain

Reading Wodehouse for long continuous stretches results in the following. Beware, it is a very very long post.

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A discreet cough announced the reappearance of Jeeves.

B.W.: “Pretty frightful looking coves those, eh Jeeves? They looked all broken over in tweeds and glasses. And sported hefty books. Not quite the fashion.”

J.:”Yes sir.”

I folded a meditative paper.

Thankless is this world!

Bhalai ka zamaana hi nahi raha!

–For those not knowing Hindi, above sentence means the same as the title–

So I was travelling to office yesterday, by public transport. This lady climbs in and stands near my seat. There is no empty seat on the bus. On the seat right before mine, a man sits with his arm all along the backrest, making it appear his kid or some other tiny person is seated next to him.

Now, the lady stands for quite a while, and it looks like she is preggo. I (from goodness of the heart and all that. my parents brought me up properly, you know!) offer her my seat – obviously, assuming she is preggo, otherwise, she can stand for all i care. The lady nods and sits down, without even a word of thanks, please note. The conductor steps up for my ticket and asks me ‘Why did you get up?’ Good question, except I can’t announce to the entire bus that the lady seems pregnant and might need a seat.

And then, ladies and gentlemen, after taking in the conductor’s question, she points me to the seat ahead which I had thought was occupied, but is actually not, and tells me “You can sit there.”

If mademoiselle knew it was empty, couldn’t she have sat there, rather than standing forlornly next to me?

Jeez.

Telly bytes

What is Rahul Mahajan’s claim to fame, other than being a slain political leader’s son, and having featured in some season of the Big Boss? Why is he so fussed over, in Swayamwar Season 2 <’Rahul Dulhaniya le jaayega’> ?*sounds of me being sick*

And, in other circles, Abhishek Bachchan is now reduced to (yes, read between the words. Or change the voice, if you will.) hosting National Bingo nights on television. Sad are these days, sad.

ETA: Please google the links for aforementioned shows yourself. I am feeling too lazy to do it for you.

Toast

To my friends S & R, otherwise known as SEV & Galadriel -

Here’s wishing you a happily, happily ever after.

‘Tis the season to be jolly

‘Tea’. ‘Coffee’.

It was meant to go downhill.

‘Tiramisu for dessert’. ‘I don’t have a sweet tooth’.

‘Please take away the candle’. ‘Let’s not spoil the romantic mood’.

Your risotto sir. Madam, the fish you ordered is not available. What can I get for you instead?

‘Why are you mad at me? It’s not my fault’. ‘Sorry, but it is. Why did you book here today’?

‘Why don’t you order for us’? ‘I’ll have the tomato on ciabatta as a starter. He’s not having anything’.

‘You look like you are enjoying this’. ‘Oh yes,  I try’.

‘Impossible. Can you not arrange something..’? ‘Let’s adjust, shall we, sweetheart’?

Madam. Sir. There has been a mistake.

A table, double-booked by mistake, in an over-full restaurant during Christmas.

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P.S. Do read it both ways.

Inspiration & Pearls of wisdom

What have they got in common? Nothing, except the following post.

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Inspiration strikes you at odd moments and odd places. No, I don’t mean like when you are in the shower, or are praying, although that is also true. What I mean is, my stack of inspirational books strikes me on the shin, and when I fall over, pokes me in the eye.

You take a bit of advice, and then proceed to irritate the hell out of an oyster with it. That’s how pearls of wisdom are born.

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All the above, courtesy me. Yeah, I am immodest that ways.